THE ANIMENEXT 06 COSFU EXPERIENCE
(as told by dr_teng)
I'm surprised Customs let me into the country with the explanation, "I am
attending a Japanese animation convention". It's a good thing most Customs
agents have no idea what cons are. I'm pretty sure they would tell me to turn
right around and stop wasting my life if they saw the following Con-dom World
report.
Avoiding the bevy of lardos with their headband protectors, I made my way
into the artist's alley. While taking pictures of all the talented cosplayers -
I heard a shrill voice yelling "No pictures, no pictures!" in my general direction.
I look around and found a beast approaching me, her hands waving to show
me how serious she really was.
It turned out that she was the art director, and apparently there were no
photographs allowed in the artist's alley. As I'm sure you can see from my
picture, they wouldn't want people taking photographs of those artistic
masterpieces, copying them, and then submitting them to the Louvre under
their own names.
Some must be above the law, however, as mere moments later, she quickly took
a picture right in front of me. When I politely informed her that no pictures were
allowed to be taken in the artist's alley, I was informed that she was the art
director, and could do whatever the fuck she wanted.
Whatever the fuck she wanted to do apparently consisted of feeling herself up
while wearing a Kenshin shirt, deep-throating every banana and ice cream cone
she could cram in her cavernous maw, and snorting with glee as she browsed
yaoi manga after yaoi manga. I was, sadly, not around to see her plushie with
massive fake tits and a dikku. (She just so happened to also be the head of the
"Adult plushies" panel.) I was told that it was quite the sight! However, she did
have a package of animal crackers that someone had given her. Oddly enough,
they vanished without a trace.
My petty victory (retarded facial expression aside) led to me being a tad too
full to eat at the Outback. I wandered outside, and who do I see but LJ user
Sailormoon, who I wanted to be the special guest of our Cosfu.net panel.
Everything comes up dr_teng.
Saturday must have been COSPLAY ROCK STAR day. It seemed every other
costume had a guitar. I asked this person to really wail on that sucker. Kids
these days, they just don't know how to rock.
As the masquerade approached, cosplayers got out their finest costumes in
prep for the TRUE World Cup.
Unfortunately, I was scheduled to run the cosfu.net panel with fellow admin
on_san and forum member nothing0011, so I could not enjoy the best of the
best in the cosplay world. During the panel, our special guest saw someone
with a vendetta against her walk by the room. (Although really, anyone
could have walked by the room and it would have been a safe bet that they
had something against her!) After dragging him into the room, we decided to
LARP Jerry Springer. From that point on, the panel became an amazing success.
Enough of a success that we had a bunch of people complain about it, and got
our panel banned from AnimeNext. One down, dozens of cons to go!
Giving a report like that without a video of the panel would be a real cock
tease of an article. Here at cosplayfucks, we like taking things to completion.
With great pride, we bring to you the first official Cosplayfucks panel video.
AnimeNext 06 Cosfu.net panel video
Forum thread
June 28th, 2006
THE ANIMEBOSTON 06 COSFU EXPERIENCE
(as told by MICHICHU)
“GOOD MOOOO~OORNING, SUNSHINE,”
a too-chipper voice trilled out in sing song.Groggily, I opened my eyes. An unfamiliar bed; crisp white sheets against my skin;
a hotel room. Someone was sleeping next to me; on closer inspection - some hot
girl whose name escapes me at the moment. A large singing dark blob filled the
doorway.
And then, just as suddenly as it had arrived, it was gone.
Anime Boston 2006 had begun.
The night before, the Hynes Convention Center had been host
to a convention of Orthopedic Nurses; the smell of antiseptic and comfortable
shoes was replaced with a yellow tinge of sweat just on the edges of my senses.
Dr. Teng and I decided to start things off right, flying the banner of CF glory.
The Cosfu flag is quite a backdrop.
This Kagome was oh-so very proud of how she made her costume, all by herself.
She made it a point to tell us that she made it all by herself!
We should give her a gold star.
Jesus loves cosplayfucks. (AND WE LOVE HIM!)
As do schoolgirls. (AND WE LOVE THEM!)
Sailor Moon cosplayers also love cosplayfucks, whether they realize it or not.
(COSFU.NET, WE CRASH YOUR PHOTOSHOOTS.)
Such acts of terrorism could not go unpunished. Prior to the con, Security issued
an order to stop all Cosplayfucks activity ON SIGHT. This is what we looked like
moments before we were arrested and hog-tied.
Of course, the Man cannot keep us out of action for long. There were such
sights to be seen! (Naturally, we spent the rest of the con dodging security.)
This gentleman was found in the hotel lobby.
Now, as a ninja, not only does he have THREE forehead protectors, he is a
creature that is both round and spiky. Fear strikes cold in the heart of me.
That’s a nice raccoon hat, Davy Crockett.
YAOI FANS ARE HOT.
The pink-haired man was in the same outfit for three consecutive days.
Three days is how long it took God to create heaven and earth, the seas,
light and darkness, and plants and flowery things.
He put his arm around me
and the only way I can describe it is wet. He spoke in a super high-pitched voice.
I would have loved him if not for all the dripping of bodily fluids.
And then there’s THIS GUY:
VERSUS
This handsome devil:
YOUR MOTHER
uses semen-based hair gel to cosplay Vash. BURN.
Not even high contrast could save some people.
I suppose she was headed towards the AMAZING Full Metal Alchemist gathering.
Dear Lord, what could we possibly do with so many attractive people?
Line-dancing, at that!
After such vigorous activities, we had to take a break.
Hey, these guys look pretty friendly.
I’m not sure. Don’t ask me. Yes, you may cry on my shoulder.
Normally Boston is a very liberal city, but occasionally hate-filled bigots roam
our friendly streets. Here is a very hungry Ku Klux Klan member (cosplayer).
He’ll have to fight for food against the SUCKING POWER OF
THE NEVERENDING VACUUM.
We drank a lot at this con. Perhaps you can see why.
Some people can’t hold their liquor.
However, for some happy attendees, there was romance in the air.
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
BAM.
And sometimes cosplayers are just plain crazy.
Did I say sometimes? I meant always.
We ran around a lot. We drank. A lot. We made fun of people. A whole whole lot.
You can’t stop this flow. COME LOOK AT MORE TRAVESTIES ON THE FORUMS.
Forum thread
Thanks to fellow admins dr_teng and on_san for making this possible,
and to forum user melcantdrawrocks for pics and her AMAZING ANIMATION skillz.
June 24th, 2006
Our second Wankery, covering the Anime Boston forums.
Naruto Fuckery
Our
first wankery feature!
Where better to start than the community named
after the
hobby itself? Cosplay.com, full of some of the worst the
internet
has to offer.
April 24st, 2006
Final
Fantasy Fuckery
Duelin'
Dan - Our first Cosplay
Hero! 
Otaku
File #1 - Stefan99
"My car's license plate says "CAM FAN", I've got a little Cammy figure hanging from my rearview mirror, and I've got a CammyFan.com bumper sticker. On top of all that, I've carried a little Cammy figure in my pocket every day since the summer of 1996 (it's my good luck charm). I even named my company after Cammy! Cammy's always around me. Am I crazy?"
